FROM THE NA STEP WORKING GUIDE.
Fear If we could look at the disease of addiction stripped of its primary symptoms – that is, apart from drug use or other compulsive behavior – and without its most obvious characteristics, we would find a swamp of self-centered fear. We’re afraid of being hurt, or maybe of just having to feel too intensely, so we live a sort of half-life, going through the motions of living but never being fully alive. We’re afraid of everything that might make us feel, so we isolate and withdraw. We’re afraid that people won’t like us, so we use drugs to be more comfortable with ourselves. We’re afraid we’ll get caught at something and have to pay a price, so we lie or cheat or hurt others to protect ourselves. We’re afraid of being alone, so we use and exploit others to avoid feeling lonely or rejected or abandoned. We’re afraid we won’t have enough-of anything – so we selfishly pursue what we want, not caring about the harm we cause in the process. Sometimes, if we’ve gained things we care about in recovery, we’re afraid we’ll lose what we have, and so we begin compromising our principles to protect it. Self-centered, self-seeking fear-we need to uproot it so it no longer has the power to destroy. Who or what do I fear? Why? What have I done to cover my fear? How have I responded negatively or destructively to my fear? What do I most fear looking at and exposing about myself? What do I think will happen if I do? How have I cheated myself because of my fear?